Topher Tracking Issue 06: In Good Company
Topher Grace 🤝 the Dad from The Parent Trap
My friends, we have reached the zenith of Topher Grace x Older Man team-ups. Superfans will remember Topher getting hustled out of class by Michael Douglas in Traffic and sad-sacking it in a Los Angeles cemetery1 with Héctor Elizondo in Valentines Day. Those were just warm ups for In Good Company (2004), which pairs Topher with Daddy Dennis Quaid. That’s right, Grace and Quaid double team the hell out of this movie.
In Good Company starts off with a bang with the softest mid-aughts indie rock you can imagine.
Dennis Quaid wakes up at dawn in his suburban home and gets ready for work, just really soaking in that pre-recession lifestyle. He watches a tiny kitchen TV where the news is covering “GlobeCom’s” acquisition of “Sports America,” the magazine where he works. I was revving up to make fun of these generic names when I realized I couldn’t think of anything better.
Dennis finds a pregnancy test box in the kitchen trash, and looks suspiciously at a photo of his his 18-year old daughter. Putting aside Dennis’ rather grating overprotective approach to parenting, it is alarming to think a teenager might be pregnant. But at least she’ll always have her constitutional right to an abortion OH WAIT.2
Dennis sells advertising for “Sports America,” and meets with a potential buyer. The client notes Dennis’ old-fashioned methods and calls him a dinosaur.
“Don’t knock the dinosaurs,” Dennis responds, “They ruled the earth for a million years, they must’ve been doing something right.”
CUT to our most favorite boy with the most stiff hair (you could bounce a quarter off that thing) pitching little dinosaur-shaped cell phones to a conference room full of business folk and watery-ass orange juice. Topher plays Carter, a jumpy and insecure young man trying desperately to look like he know’s what he’s doing.3
Topher’s douchey coworker, Mark (Clark Gregg), tells Topher he did “PFG,” or “pretty freaking good.” I mean, Topher did fine. But honestly, those dino phones would sell themselves. I want one in every color.
Mark tells Topher he will be taking over “Sports America” and ask him to run ad sales. Then he tells Topher he’s “being groomed,” which TBH sounds terrifying, but Topher reacts with excitement like the overeager little shelter puppy he is.
Dennis Quaid gets home and finds his daughter in her room, which is a real John’s room from Breakthrough, except instead of basketball, it’s tennis. She’s even tossing around a little tennis ball. We get it girl, you like tennis. Oh and also his daughter is played by Scarlett Johansson!4
Dennis also finds out its his wife who’s the pregnant one and he is BAFFLED. It takes a while for his wife to break it down for him. Takeaway: CIS MEN DO NOT UNDERSTAND UTERUSES!!!
Meanwhile, Topher is still totally pumped about his promotion, and is up at 3am talking about it to his wife, played by Selena Blair (who’s channeling Selena Blair in the first half of Legally Blonde). She is visibly annoyed and a bit snide, which I think is supposed to indicate she’s an unloving bitch, but —and hear me out—IT IS 3AM!!!
Just saying, if Nopher were prattling on to me at 3am about a non-emergency, I would be a lot meaner to him.
The next day, at Dennis Quaid’s office, everyone is freaking out about getting fired. Dennis learns he still has a job, but will no longer lead he department. UH OH!
ScarJo heads to her dad’s office to play tennis with him, and gets in the elevator with Topher. They get to chatting, and he admits to her he’s “scared shitless” about starting the job. It’s a 4/10 meet cute imo.
Topher gets off the elevator and physically bumps into Dennis Quaid. NOW THAT'S HOW YOU DO A MEET CUTE!
While Dennis is off playing tennis with ScarJo, Topher is shown into Dennis’ old office. He’s looking around when DQ walks in. awkward!!!
Topher tells Dennis he’s 26, and they find out Dennis is a year older than his dad. tense!!!
Dennis is moved into a smaller office and Topher buys an expensive electric blue Porsche and immediately crashes it. Excellent.
Topher gets back home and his wife tells him she wants a divorce. This is when I noticed she a a framed glamour shot of herself hanging in their living room, which I can’t help but respect. She leaves for her parent’s house, and Topher sleeps in his car.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “the loneliness is palpable.”
The next day, Topher stands in front of Dennis and his team, chugging Venti Starbucks like its 2004. His coffee bitch brings him more and Topher says “keep ‘em coming.”
Topher stands at the front of a conference room to address the staff of “Sports America” ad sales team. He starts out nervous, repeating business platitudes and tripping over his words, then gains confidence and ends up delivering a rousing speech about “synergy.”
Topher’s clearly pumped but the team is unconvinced. He even calls out a man named Hector, who works in Maintenance. Fun bit but, surely Hector has better things to do than watch Topher fumble his way through an ad sales meeting.
Topher takes Dennis for lunch at a sushi place and bullies the 51-year-old chicken teriyaki guy into eating a spicy tuna roll. Then Topher asks Dennis to be his “wingman.”
There is a montage of Topher working into the night in his empty office. He tries and fails to bond with a goldfish, which is adorably sad.
Lonely, Topher makes Dennis and the rest of the staff come in on a Sunday, then desperately asks people if they want to hang out. DQ sarcastically invites him to have dinner with his family, and Topher eagerly accepts.
At Dennis’s house, Dennis’s wife tells him they need to take out a second mortgage while Topher and ScarJo play foosball and bond. When Topher leaves, Scarlett watches him go to the sound of an indie song that’s somehow even gentler and pluckier than the ones we heard before!
In another montage, Scarlett moves onto her NYU dorm, and Topher moves into a place in Tribeca. Dennis gives ScarJo some pepper spray, apparently unaware of the statistics that pepper spray is usually used on victims. DQ gets a second mortgage, Topher gets officially divorced.
Topher learns Dennis is taking clients to a Knicks Game, and insists on bringing them to the GlobeComm luxury suite, then hits Dennis with this:
“We can’t go there on Wednesday because Teddy K is hosting Bill Clinton, Jay Z, and Kofi Annan.” Topher says this with a straight face and I know this detail has little to do with our protagonists but I would kill to see that scene!
Since the luxury suite isn’t available for the Knicks game, they take Dennis’ old-ass client to see a rapper called “Legally Dedd.” And John Cho shows up for a second playing “Petey from sneakers” 😍 Here, I literally squealed “JOHNCHO!!!” and woke up Nopher.
Should I get a John Cho newsletter going? Sound off in the comments below.
Sorry, back to the movie. Dennis’ client tells him he can’t advertise with “Sports America” anymore, and Dennis and Topher get a drink. They discuss who on their team they can fire.
Topher starts sleeping on the couch in his office, and Dennis fires two of his longtime colleagues. Weirdly, he fires them at the same time. Where TF is HR at this enormous company??? Anyway, the vibe is depressing.
Topher bumps into Scar Jo at that little cafe below Washington Square Park and sits with her. He slams like 6 coffees and tells her he doesn’t have a good family life and, “my career is pretty much what I have in my life.” She tells him she’s lonely, too.
They spend the day together, and ScarJo gives Topher a smooch and invites him to her dorm room. My favorite part about her room is the “GlobeCom SUCKS” poster. She seduces him by throwing a scarf over her lamp, turning on music, and lighting incense. Jeez, young people do the MOST for sex.
The next day, Topher acts super weird around DQ, who delivers this zinger: “You’re acting jumpy. You switch from mocha to crack?” BOOM! 2004 BABYYY!
Montage #3 shows Topher and ScarJo dating in secret, and a genuinely cool shot of Topher firing a bunch of people. There’s also a team basketball game against corporate, during which this exchange happened on my couch:
Nopher: “Topher looks so unathletic. Like he’s never worn a tank top in his life.”
Me: “Jealous much?!?!?!”5
Dennis’ family throws him a surprise 52nd bday, but he catches on. DQ enters in just boxer shorts and moons everyone. Swoon.
At the party, Topher and ScarJo hang out in his car in secret. He gives her a diamond necklace, and DQ sees them coming out of Topher’s car holding hands.
The next day, Dennis follows Topher to a restaurant where he’s going to visit ScarJo. Dennis confronts them and CLOCKS Topher! TBH, this punch looks like it packs more of a wallop than Casey Affleck’s punch in Interstellar.
Topher says he loves Scarjo, to which Dennis replies, “You love her? She’s MY daughter.” Only one man can own her, sir!
Afterwards, Topher goes to visit ScarJo in her dorm, and tells her again he loves her. She breaks it off, saying the relationship is too serious too soon for her. This is definitely the right call for a college freshman, but I can’t say I blame Topher for trying to lock that down.
Teddy K., the CEO of GlobeComm, shows up to the “Sports America” office, flanked by tall hot ladies, and Dennis immediately starts heckling him.6
Mark shows up and tries to fire Dennis, but Topher stands up for him. They dangle a “big account” they’re working on, and Mark gives them 24 hours to land the account, or they’re both fired.
Dennis lands the account by describing to the client how he punched Topher in the face, proving that capitalism and violence are perpetually entwined (there’s gotta be a Green Day song there).
However, when they get back to the office, they find out that “Sports America” was sold AGAIN. Mark is fired and so is Topher. DQ stays on and becomes head of ad sales again. Mark whines, “the whole thing feels so arbitrary. I feel used” Yeah, bro, me too.
A little while later, Topher comes into the office with a hoodie and normal-ass hair. It’s a huge improvement. Dennis offers him a job, but Topher says no. He wants to find something that means something to him. Yeah, bro, SAME!
Topher thanks Dan, who taught him things that were “worth learning”. DQ and his wife have another daughter. Dennis calls Topher, who’s running on the beach, to tell him about the baby. And that’s the movie, folks!
This was such a sweet movie, and Topher was great in it. I think a lot of young Americans, myself included, fall into the trap of trying to find validation through work, and the journey of discovering your career is not the most important thing in your life is a relatable one.
Topher, mensch that he is, speaks frequently and fondly of making this movie and working with the cast. And he still hangs out with Dennis Quaid, FYI.
Bye for now!
Despite sounding extremely sexual, “sad-sacking in the cemetery” is not innuendo for anything.
Sorry if my vibe’s a little bit angrier than usual.
I read in the IMDb trivia that Ashton Kutcher was originally offered this part. Listen, I might be a little biased, but Ashton would’ve sucked. He radiates too much confidence. Topher, meanwhile, absolutely nails it.
TBH, Johansson is great in this movie, but her character is not that fleshed out. She later transfers to NYU to become a writer, but she’s never once shown writing…Actually, I’m now realizing I didn’t actually write anything as a college-aged “writer,” either, so that checks out.
I may have yelled. Again, my vibe has been angry.
Nopher, referring to Dennis Quaid’s character: “that guy’s gonna get disappeared REAL QUICK.”